Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bowling For Miracles 10 pages

Here's 10 pages of my new stage play, Bowling for Miracles. It's a comedy in 2 acts.
Copyright 2010 (c)
Registered with WGA



SCENE 3

Saturday afternoon, PAM’S living room. Dom has spread newspapers over the dining room table and on the floor. He devours one article after another, snickering as he does. After a few beats, Pam comes out of the kitchen.


PAM
Did you want-
Pam is surprised by the mess.

What are you doing?

DOM
This stuff is killing me!

PAM
What are you looking for?

DOM
I’m just reading.

PAM
Get them off of my table. Go on!

DOM
Look at this!

PAM
No.

DOM
Come here. Look at this one.

PAM(Reading)
Vampire boy found in bat cave...

DOM
Look at the picture! Can you believe that?

PAM
Get that off of my table.

DOM
Look at this! Look! “Man with two hearts donates one to next door neighbor!” Oh, that’s a good one! Can you believe they print this crap? Classic!

PAM
Move it or lose it!

DOM removes the papers to the floor revealing empty table. Pam does the following dialogue while setting table for three. Pam EXITS to Kit.

DOM
You got to see this one! Pam! Come on! Come out here a second.


PAM (O.S.From Kitchen)
Why are you reading that junk?

DOM
Perfect!

Pam enters from Kitchen carrying settings. Sets table.

PAM
They just make that stuff up. Imagine? They get paid for writing false stories like that.

DOM
Well, it’s a gold mine for somebody. Somebody’s making a mint! You can count
on that! You think they don’t make a lot of money writing this stuff? What do they charge for these things? A buck? Two bucks?

PAM
You’re the one wasting money.

DOM
I bet some of it’s true. Some of it could be true. Like this! See here? A man grew a radish in the shape of a chicken. Look at the size of that thing! What is it? A radish? Does that look like a chicken to you?

PAM
You want me to heat some bread?

DOM
That would be great. I mean it’s not the reason I bought these things. The miracle crap! That’s what I want to see. The holy stuff! That’s what I’m looking for!

PAM
Hush! You should be ashamed.

PAM EXITS to kitchen.

DOM
What? I’m just looking! A woman in Texas sees the Virgin Mary all the time. Then the sun spins around up in sky. People come from all around to see her. Does miracles too, I think. People, cripples, come hobbling up by the bus load just to watch her talk to the air. I wonder if they charge for parking? I bet that’s what they do, have some relative or somebody with a
huge cornfield or sand lot, charge a buck and a half.

PAM enters from the kitchen holding a hot bowl of pasta.

DOM (Cont’d)
Two, three bucks for vans. Campers. Motor homes, even!

PAM puts down the bowl and stares at Dom.

DOM
Ten bucks a pop even! Our Donny could be one of those people.

PAM
He’s not a cripple!

DOM
Not that.

PAM
Why, Dom? Why?

DOM
You know, special. He could be somebody very special. Oh, there’s money to be made! All you need is the right event, a little publicity. Start out small,

DOM (Cont’d)
work into the bigger stuff. Internet, radio, TV, Get on Oprah!

PAM
Oprah, ha! You got a screw loose you know that? Our, Donny...

Dom puts down the paper and smiles at Pam.

What?

DOM
I think he is. I think he’s, how you say it, blessed.

PAM
You think he is. Or is there “money to be made,” huh?

DOM
He’s a special kid, we both agree with that. Riding a bike at two. Lighting matches by four.

PAM
He takes after Henry.

DOM
He’s always reading the bible. Staying up all hours. Hardly sleeping. Barely eating...studying. I bet he knows more about the Bible than most priests!

PAM
Don’t say that!

DOM
Writing his writings. It’s like a retreat up there. Drawing those pictures on his pants. It’s like a shrine, those pants!

PAM
It’s a pig-sty up there.

DOM
I think something’s gonna happen. I believe he’s ready...he’s gonna
surprise even you! All he has to do is reveal a little bit of that mind of his...POP! A new Revelations! Something, some small little thing that gets the people come running and wham!

PAM
Wash your hands.

DOM
I tell you, Pam, I’ve been reading all about it! Things have been happening around the world. You think Donny’s the only one being affected? Other things,
too. Fish dying. People killing each other. Babies being born without brains!

PAM
So you’re not the only one.

DOM
It’s true! It’s true! And now, it’s happening to your own boy! Our, Donny!

PAM
Ughh...

DOM
It could be a sign! An omen!

PAM
Donny could be an omen? He draws on his arms and talks to lights and you think he’s sent from God? (A beat) The fish are dying? What the hell are you talking about?

DOM
Look at this-

PAM
Shut up and eat your supper.

DOM
All I’m trying to say is look around, he’s not the only one.

PAM
Your gonna be the only one to not get supper if you don’t shut up already! (Yelling) Donny! Donny, come down stairs your supper is ready.


We hear a door slam. Donny descends the stairs. He is shirtless. He wears blue jeans that have magic marker writing on them.
He is caressing his left side with his fingers and holds a BOOK in his free hand. He reads while walking slowly to the table.

PAM
Here he comes. Our savior!

She exits to the kitchen.

DOM
Come here, boy, I want you to look at something. You know it’s bowling night? You’re coming, right? You gotta wear a shirt, though.

Donny slowly walks over and slouches into the chair. Dom brings a paper to him.

DOM
Here, look at this! And this! And these!


Dom leaves the open papers in front of Donny and paces back and forth. A few beats.

DOM
Well?
DONNY puts the BOOK on the table and places his plate on top of it. DOM holds an article in Donny’s face.

DOM
You sure you want to eat on top of the Bible, there Donny?

DONNY
It’s Moby Dick.

DOM
You’re doing code on Moby Dick?

DONNY
It works pretty good, too!

DOM
Hush, you don’t want to tell anybody something like that. Don’t let your mother see you do that.

DONNY
Why not?

DOM
Why not? What are you trying to pull anyway? Are you onto something or are you not?

Donny shrugs shoulders.

Well, crap! (Beat) Anyways, you see this? (Reading) “The Virgin Mary appears regularly,” blah, blah...You see?


DONNY
It happens all the time.

DOM
That’s right! (To Pam in kitchen) You see? You see that? It happens all the time! Donny knows!

Donny starts to scoop a huge mound of pasta onto his plate.

PAM (O.S.)
I don’t want to hear it!

DOM
What are you doing in there?

PAM (O.S.)
Burning the bread!

Donny crams his mouth full of pasta.

DONNY
I’ll take a piece of that!

DOM
Me too! I’ll take a piece. We both want a piece!

Pam comes out of the kitchen holding a basket with the warmed bread, and places it on the table.

DOM
What about this one! “Virgin seen in sky!”

DONNY
Pass the pepper.

Pam passes the pepper and fills her plate with pasta.


PAM
Well, it’s all nonsense if you as me. If the Virgin wanted to show herself she would. You wouldn’t have to read some phony newspaper to hear about it. She’d make herself known!

DOM
And how would she do that?

DONNY
Is there any salad?

PAM
I didn’t have time.

DOM
How, pray tell, would she come down to earth, then?

PAM
Well, first of all, there would be no mystery.

DOM
Mystery is the first rule of being a Catholic!

PAM
She’d show herself for all the people to see. And people would be getting healed! Saved from the misery of their folly!

DOM
But that’s what we’re talking about here!

DONNY
Statues are giving milk.

DOM
What?


DONNY
In India. Statues are giving milk.

DOM
Milk? Really? You hear that? They’re milking statues! That miracle enough for you?

DONNY
Not milking! Milk is coming out of the statues! In India.

DOM
That’s what I said!

DONNY
Not milking! It’s just coming out!

DOM
What do you mean, it’s just spraying out all over the place? Like a car wash?

PAM
That’s crazy talk!

DONNY
Frogs are being born deformed.

PAM
Maybe they drank the milk!

DONNY
Floods. Famine. Disease. It’s all happening right now.

DOM
You hear that? We got to get in on this before it’s too late!

PAM
The end of the world is a scheme now?

DOM
I see shirts with Donny’s writin

No comments:

Post a Comment