The Lucid
Spider
This is the spider I saw on the ceiling this morning. I drew
him in ink and took this photo to show you what he looked like. I’m calling him
Gray Ghost. He appeared above my head and walked toward the bedpost before
fading away. I closed my eyes and quickly reopened them, to see the spider back
in original spot. It walked toward the wall, again, as if on repeat. My first
thought; It’s not real. Probably a lucid dream.
Lucid dreaming is when you become aware you are dreaming and
sometimes even begin to actively control your dream. (Comes in handy with
certain types of dreams, but I won’t elaborate) Although, each time I become
aware I am dreaming and try to control my lucid dream, it quickly evaporates
into the ether and I awaken. Apparently, lucid dreamers have a more highly
developed area of the brain that allows for self-reflection. If what I’ve been
thinking lately can be called self-reflection (rather that self-deprecation),
then yes, I would lean toward this notion. I tend to self-reflect quite a bit. Not
because I’m self-absorbed, as much as the fact that I am a writer, a thinker
and an artist. You must think to write and paint.
However, upon some research, I realized this was probably a
Hypnagogic Hallucination. I’ve been having that type of hallucination for
years. Several times I have awakened to find a dark figure standing at the edge
of my bed, and although I can’t see a face, the figure is apparently staring at
me, as if this ungodly creature was wanting something unfathomable.
Another particularly vivid hallucination came after playing
a video game entitled, Red Barron, a WWI bi-plane aerial combat game. I awoke
to observe a small red bi-plane fly into my bedroom and come straight at me. It
was so tangibly real, I sat up in bed, threw a pillow at it, and yelled, “Get
out!” My wife did not understand, nor appreciate my reaction.
The thing that’s strange about the spider hallucination
though, was after closing and re-opening my eyes, Gray ghost reappeared, in the
exact same spot on the ceiling as before and began its short, spidery journey
toward the wall. I know it wasn’t real, because of the way it looked. It was a
ghost. A large, Gray Ghost of a spider, crawling slowly across the ceiling. And
yes, it was as creepy as it sounds.
Why a spider, I ask myself? Why not something else, like a
flower or a beetle? I have no hatred or fear of spiders, beyond that of any
normal person. I haven’t been bitten by a black widow or nuclear infused
spider. I haven’t been seeing them in the yard or the house, lately. And yet, I
saw the damn thing in my strange half-sleep state. So next time, if there is a
next time, when it comes, I’ll be ready. I’ve been training myself to lucid
dream. Part of which is to remind yourself (if you can, it’s quite difficult)
that you are dreaming. If Gray Ghost spider comes back, I’ll be ready. I’ll
remember to remind myself to fall back into a lucid dream and then I’ll kill
the little bastard! I wonder if Gray Ghost spiders leave any splatter?
