Sunday, March 7, 2010

Oscar, Life and Death...


I don't usually post about films but I was shocked when Sandra Bullock won the Oscar for Best Actress. I think she was a bit too, judging by her reaction. Anyway, she is a lovely woman and a good actor. Sometimes I think it is harder for a woman with such a bright, cheery face to be taken seriously as an actor. So, I was shocked when they call ed her name. I didn't see the film she won it for. It seemed from the ads to be a formulaic tear jerking sports movie, not my cup of tea. A film I did see recently that I liked very much was, Elegy, with Sir Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz. That was a very deep, moving film for me. I think when you get to be a certain age, as the protagonist was in this film, you look at life differently. You start to see the end coming. Old age creeping in, and death around the corner. You start to look at back at ten twenty years ago and realize how quickly time, and life, moves you further and further, like a never ending conveyer and you have no choice but to ride it into the dark at the end of the line. This film made me think of these things and of how the Kingsley character perceived himself in the world. We leave things behind as we go; we leave the things that meant something at the time, energies used in things that seem unimportant now, especially, wasting time drinking and partying. Thinking you will find that one or two people that would be just fascinating and perhaps change you life. You get to a certain age and the ache of things lost, opportunity not taken advantage of, doors left closed, and these things leave a dull ache in the back of your mind, thinking about how your life could have gone, how it could have been changed by this event or that, by taking advantage of a certain situation you may have perceived you had. But you are living the life you deserve at some point. Not deserve as in, "I don't deserve this cancer," but deserve as in "You reap what you sew." The trick is to never stop sewing the seeds, for they will spring forth at any age, however little time you may have left to enjoy them. And I’m not complaining about my life. It is full of joy and happiness as well as the regret and the sorrow. I saw my father looking at his life as he aged, I saw the on switch turned "off" when he found out he had cancer and little time left. He was ready to check out that day, not wanting, I think, to wait in line at the end of the trail to face the eternal question...what is there after this thing we call life? Or simply finding it too hard to say goodbye to all that you hold so dear…

1 comment:

  1. Eloquent words. I wanted Sandra Bullock to win simply because she managed to exude a quality of loving in The Blind Side that few actresses could. She has always done that the best she could in her films, but in this movie she got a little more to work with and so gave a performance I thought was incandescent. Your review has caused me to want to see "The Elegy" as I think Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz are both quality actors. I think you are so right about not wasting time doing things such as drinking and acting like life is one long party and there is really nothing worth controlling yourself for. And also it is never too late to make a much bigger effort than that which is going to count even if you have but a day left to live.

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